Nigeria’s gifting culture

As December 2017 approaches, a certain tradition will become more pronounced in Nigeria. It is not that it disappears within the year. No, it couldn’t have disappeared because it is as old as our existence as a people. What I speak of is Nigeria’s culture of giving gifts or gifting.

Really, Nigerians love to give gifts and there is often no limit to what they give, especially when they are moved to do so. Nigerians have been known to buy their pastors private jets, just because they appreciate their sermons. Often, a rich Nigerian who has several cars in his compounds, gives one or two to a young man who has exhibited good character.

In Nigeria, a man or woman can bankroll his or her friend’s party with several millions of naira. And then, when Nigerians spray at parties, they do so as though they all have oil wells in their living rooms.

Nigerians feel so much joy and pride, giving expensive gifts to others. It is an act of prestige, and people are usually respected for how much they ‘dash’.

Nigerians ‘dash’ at weddings, Thanksgiving Services, Ordination Services, Pastor’s Day, St. Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Naming Ceremonies, Weddings, House warmings, Birthdays, Work Anniversary, Graduations, Child Dedication and at times, for no reason at all.

They give things to each other at the work place, at social gatherings, at formal gatherings and during visitations. As a matter of fact, when young people show respect to adults, it is nothing unusual, if they get wads of cash in return for being good children.

In the regular corporate setting, colleagues buy cows, expensive drinks and donate large amounts of money for aco-worker’s party (birthday, wedding, or the burial ceremony of a relative). They do this not just for their equals but for junior and senior colleagues without hesitation throughout the year.

What essentially makes Nigerians different from the West is that they don’t give like those in the West. And those in more developed countries cannot understand the rationale behind our giving culture. Hence, foreigners are quick to misconstrue our giving as arrogance or a subtle way of asking for favour in return when in reality, it is cultural!

As a matter of fact, when foreigners hang out with friends, a lot of them feel, ‘splitting the bill’ is a universal etiquette until they encounter Nigerians.

In Australia, when you eat out with friends, the venue does the bill splitting. In Canada, Sweden, Norway, you pay for whatever you order in a separate bill. In Germany, people pay for their share. In some parts of the world, people get offended if you offer to pay for them. But here in Nigeria…well, we all know how things are done. One man can shut down a club or pay for all drinks consumed by everyone he meets when he walks in, including those he does not know.

In South Africa, women are reportedly in a hot chase for Nigerian men because of how they lavish gifts on them and treat them better than their own countrymen. Some believe that this benevolence of Nigerian men has created great resentment and partially led to some of the xenophobic attacks on Nigerians. How? While South African men write poems and gave flowers, Nigerian men were giving their ladies cool cash in millions and the latest Louboutin shoes, Versace wears, Hermes bags, to name a few.

In the West, when a woman delivers a baby, most of her friends and colleagues would offer her the basic things necessary to take care of the baby: diapers, wipes, cloths, etc. In Nigeria, new-borns might get all they need for a lifetime, particularly when the parents are public figures.

At ‘society weddings’, newly-weds go home with cars, and all-expense paid trips in foreign locations as gifts, and these gifts can come from anyone, including friends of their parents, they are not familiar with. Some have been given houses in the past.

When political or industry leaders are involved, giving becomes a competition. Family, friends, contractors, subordinates, colleagues, business partners, vendors, etc, try to ‘out-give’ each other.

In 2016, the media was agog with news of customized wedding boxes which were gifted to the President’s daughter, Zahra costing a whopping N44million.

This behaviour is not limited to Nigerians living in Nigeria. A London-based wedding planner, who works with Nigerians getting married in her city said while at British weddings, attendees may get a token favour like a chocolate, at Nigerian weddings, each guest could get a bottle of champagne and a gift bag worth thousands of British pounds. Such a bag might contain a £345 perfume, a cashmere scarf worth £350 and a £5,000 watch! Former President Goodluck Jonathan reportedly gave out gold plated iPhones as souvenirs at his daughter’s wedding.

Nigerians also believe giving gifts attracts spiritual blessings. For Sallah, a Nigerian reportedly spent about $2million to celebrate with others. In Churches, pastors get landed properties and Rolls Royce from church members.

Nigeria does not stand alone

In most cultures in Africa, when your gift is rejected you have been insulted. Therefore, on the continent, the recipient has little or no option than to receive what he is offered.

Also, worldwide, people see no harm in giving gifts. Although it is an act which differs significantly within cultures, the social value of giving has been recognized throughout human history. It builds bond and strengthens existing relationships.

Giving like Solomon?

Nigerians give because in a sense, they are an oriental people and the culture of giving has stuck to them even though the way of living has changed in the last 100 years.

In the past, the gifting culture was even more pronounced, and there are historical antecedents that prove their capacity to dole out great gifts.

In the Bible, Jews say King Solomon made a burnt offering to God offering a thousand burnt animals. In ancient Nigerian society, there were such sacrifices, albeit not to God alone but to fellow men.

The old kings were extremely generous to warriors who had shown great courage and performed heroic feats in battles. During special occasions, they are given wives, chieftaincy titles, lands, and precious commodities. Their wives and children were also specially honoured by the monarchs.

The Late MKO Abiola came to national and international consciousness because of his giving to humanity. From 1972 until his death, Abiola got 197 traditional titles by 68 different communities in Nigeria, in response to his having provided financial assistance in the construction of several schools, mosques, churches, libraries and water projects in 24 states of Nigeria. He was also grand patron to 149 associations in Nigeria.

Enter corporate Nigeria

These days, the channels of giving crisscross society, and can manifest anywhere especially when rapport has been established.

In the last fifteen years, there has been a movement that has tried to moderate how far giving can go in Nigeria, because of some gifts that have caused outrage. This movement has primarily targeted the work environment, describing modesty and emphasising the refusal of gifts that are ‘far too kind’. But by and large, the culture of gifting trudges on.

Companies have struggled to put in place policies that would give direction to employees as to how far they can go in giving or accepting gifts from vendors or clients. However, it has become highly impracticable because Nigerians observe no standard practice in giving, even in hard times.

Obviously, the corporate environment has been overshadowed by the pre-existing culture. Foreign companies operating in Nigeria have had to find ways of incorporating the culture of gift giving which they met on ground into their organisational culture.

This December, as people celebrate Christmas which is a big event in Nigeria, ad-hoc companies will be set up to meet the ‘giving-need’ of the season.

Most companies will put together hefty hampers for customers, clients, vendors, and employees. Individuals will give to individuals, individuals will give to companies, companies will give to individuals and companies will give to companies. In some cases, companies will deliver hampers to government agencies and government officials which they deem to have been helpful within the year. And many of the government officials will do same.

Giving gifts is a way of life for Nigerians, Christmas or no Christmas, event or no event, Nigerians live big and give big. They do not put a price limit on gifts, it means nothing to them.

CHRISTOPHER AKOR