Tips on lifestyle and related matters for 2017 (1) Helps

I have chosen, as all trustworthy people should, to keep my promise to deliver three batches of lifestyle tips to our readers. The first in the series is on ‘’Helps’’- house helps, security guards, cooks, nannies, gardeners etc. It is extremely difficult to do without these groups of people to also include drivers in a lot of instances. Because of their proximity to the family; these persons must be hired carefully. The recent story of a young lady (Ms Dayo Adeleke) who was murdered by her help in Lagos comes to mind. The help, a Cameroonian refugee whom the deceased took from a church where he was living, gave him accommodation and a job requested for salary increment which the victim said she did not have, and he ended up killing her. Later that day visuals of the help celebrating on the internet further underscored the importance of hiring carefully. Modernity, city life, the absence of community has taken over the world and has affected our discernment and the checks we ought to put in place in hiring these persons. On our own we are so busy that we begin to depend on them even on personal matters.

In order to protect yourself in 2017, here are ten (10) tips to shield you from danger in relation to your hired help.

 

(1)  Don’t hire randomly:

Always ensure that there is a referee for your hired help who you can hold accountable if anything goes amiss. Always ensure if you can, that a police man, an officer from Civil Defence or a member of any security agency particularly persons you are familiar with, assist in signing as  witnesses  on your part in the transaction. On their part, let them bring somebody who has a residential or official address. Ensure it is not a friend or a fellow help whom you cannot vouch for. These processes immediately tell the hired help that he/she cannot step out of line, misbehave or commit a crime in your house or anywhere else.

 

(2) Do not leave your valuables within sight:

Do not leave your jewellery, watches etc carelessly or talk about how much it cost you in their presence. In addition, do not discuss family matters that are highly personal in their presence. Do not discuss your family movement if it is not required with the help. Some of them serve as informants to criminally minded people. In fact some of them came to be hired for that purpose.

 

(3)  Keep a close eye on your help: 

If he is a boy, keep a close eye in the event that he influences your son with bad habits i.e. smoking, drug taking, and stealing, watching pornographic movies etc.  If she is a female, prostitution, body abuse, immorality, bad language.

 

(4) Be security conscious:

Always check and double check when they go to buy stuff from the nearby shop that they are not keeping bad company or are up to no good. Run a discreet check on their property from time to time when you can. You will be surprised what you might find.

 

(5) Do not leave cash in cars: 

Do not leave cash or valuables in your car for your driver to move around.  Do not send your driver to move large amounts of cash or collect expensive jewellery from a friend.

 

(6)Be careful what you discuss:

Do not discuss sensitive issues while in your car with your driver listening.

 

(7) Keep an eye on your girls:

Discourage your female children from being over familiar with the male help. This can lead to unimaginable things. Keep your children well protected.

 

(8) Keep an eye on your little boys:

 Do not leave your young son in the hands of a female help for too long unattended. Little boys have been known to have been sexually abused by some maids.

 

(9) Security checks:

Always have routine security checks around your house known only to your family. Never leave house keys in what you consider a secret place and yet the driver knows, the maid knows and everybody knows where the keys are. This is a sure invitation to disaster.

 

(10) Have a thorough process on hiring helps: 

Have a probation period where you observe them.  It’s worth taking two days off work to study them. Listen to your gut, if you are not satisfied don’t hire. Have a verbal interview, do a physical and mental health check, test for rude and disrespectful conduct, test for empathy and kindness to children, test for selfishness and an unspoken drive for money.

 

I wish you a hitch free help-hiring in 2017.  

 

Eugenia Abu