Consistency

I’m still trying to understand why I need to give an instruction more than once before my children adhere to it. Sometimes, I’m tempted to check their ears for wax or to check if there is a blockage because I can’t simply understand why they don’t get it once.

I guess I should ask myself too why I don’t always get things the first time too. I make up my mind not to repeat a mistake or to be more disciplined and I find myself down the lane I said I would not go. I have come to understand that there will always be a constant struggle over what is right and what is wrong. It is often easier to take the easier route which is just to give up.

The same applies to children. How a child turns out depends on which areas a parent gave up or which areas they were consistent in. For instance, I don’t still understand why I have to tell my son every morning to greet when he sees an adult. I’m almost sure I’ve said this more than 50 times. One morning, I had a conversation on why he needed to greet his teachers when he got to school and not wait for them to say good morning first. Can you believe that I had to remind him again when we got to school? Now, I can choose to give up and say that I’ve tried or persevere until that habit is ingrained in his brain.

Children usually grow up with their unique giftings. Some children grow up being really good at math while some can’t seem to get it. But I also believe that the way a matter is addressed determines the outcome. You may not have the natural gift or talent for something, but if you work hard at it, you can master it. Therefore instead of just leaving it as that child is not good at math, why don’t you push the issue? Get a teacher if necessary, introduce it in a fun way and be consistent with practice problems. I’m very certain that you will see a marked improvement.

Sometimes, it has to do with a character trait you have complained about. And maybe you have talked and talked and talked and it just seems like there’s not getting through. You keep at it, you choose to be consistent because in the end you will get through.

My children used to sleep through the night on their own, but suddenly they are awake at night making their way to our bedroom and sleeping through the night with us. I allowed it for a while until I realized that these children were getting comfortable. This had to stop. So, anytime they wake up and come to my room, I walk with them back to their room and insist that they sleep on their beds. That means I’ve been waking up about three or four times at night. I have to consider what I want though, do I want a good night rest eventually or do I want children in my bed all the time. In this case, the end result is my motivation.

Basically, all I’m saying is that raising children requires consistency. If you give up, they also give up. But if you stay at it, they have no choice but to conform. After all, as an adult, you have to be consistent an your dreams to achieve them, so why do you think it’ll be different with children.

So ask yourself, in what areas in your children’s lives, do you have to be more consistent?

Sola Oguche-Agudah