Craig Charles: My family values
The DJ, actor and poet talks about growing up in the only black family on a Liverpool estate, the death of his elder brother, and life in a house full of women
My mum was Irish and my dad was from British Guiana. He was a merchant seaman and arrived in Liverpool in the late 1950s with a pocket full of change and a bag of records. They used to tell the story that they met outside a boarding house that said “No dogs, no Irish, no blacks”, but I am not sure if that’s true.
We moved to Cantril Farm, which later became notorious for violence and robbery, but back then Mum and Dad saw it as a chance to have a bigger house, a bathroom and a fresh start. Out of about 1,000 families, we were the only black family on the estate, and at that time it was quite racist. You would get on the bus and people would move as they didn’t want to sit next to you and kids would shout, “Nigger nigger, pull the trigger, bang bang bang!”
My mum wasn’t that warm a person. She was a white woman in the 60s with three black kids and it was tough. She was very ambitious for us and she showed her love by encouraging us to better ourselves rather than with a cuddle or a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to be a poet and you can imagine how that went down in a house where it was all about achieving.
I was the naughty child. My elder brother Dean did everything right. He was good at school and became a policeman, rising up though the ranks. I messed around at school but got the same grades as Dean at O-level.
My mum died when she was 46. My dad lived until he was 82, which is a grand old age with the lifestyle he led. He was a big drinker and I inherited his genes. I look like him and my constitution is very similar. He was very laid-back and I am becoming more easygoing as I get older. I think we all become our parents in the end.
I was 24 when my son Jack was born. I was very much a weekend father as his mum, Cathy, and I split up when he was just two months old. Later, though, he came to live with me as a young man and he is close to my daughters Anna-Jo and Nellie.
When my brother Dean died last year, aged 52, it was an absolute shock. When we were growing up, we shared a bedroom. I was the annoying younger brother and would get him to hit me and then I would tell Mum, but we would do anything for each other. We had not spoken for a while as we had a falling out. He called me, but I didn’t reply as I thought I could do it later. They say man makes plans and God laughs.
It’s been a big wakeup call and has brought the rest of the family together. I saw cousins I hadn’t seen for ages at the funeral and that tragic event has reconnected us. I don’t have many friends and I’m not into showbiz friends. When you have been through life’s ups and downs, family are the ones you can really trust.
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I met my wife, Jackie, in a bar in Dublin when I was filming there. She was actually on a first date with another actor but we just got on like a house on fire, and within three weeks she had left her job and come to live with me, and that was 20 years ago.
I had quite a male upbringing, but now I am surrounded by women. Last year, Jackie’s sister and two daughters lived with us for a while, so then it was me and six women. When my mum died, my brothers didn’t talk much and I do think women knit families together. I am very lucky to have so many good, strong women in my life who tell me when I am getting too up myself – starting with my daughters!
Craig Charles performs his BBC Radio 6 Music Funk and Soul Show live in Liverpool for BBC Music Day on Friday 5 June, bbc.co.uk/musicday. Culled from guardian.co.uk