Do It Afraid

A few days ago, a friend of mine who was billed to moderate an important panel lamented to me how scared she was. I realised instead of making her feel better with my response, I unnerved her. I had said casually: “It’s okay to be afraid, just do it afraid.”

Very contradictory verb and adjectives … Do It Afraid (DIA).

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t miss my words. With my comment, I tried to make her understand there’s no need to be afraid. I chose them carefully or the words chose me.

From age five growing up in Port-Harcourt, I did so many bold things that I often ask where I got the courage from. I never got the courage before the incidences. The courage arrived when I took the step to do it.

I remember in primary school, seeing my immediate older sister who wasn’t at all far from me in age crying during break. I asked her what the problem was and she narrated how a group of girls had ‘talked bad at her’. I comforted her and even though they were five in number and at the very minimum, one year older than me, I walked up to confront them!

Me, the gangly five-year-old with big eyes. I walked up to them though I was afraid of their numbers. I warned them sternly and this made them stay away from my sister after that.

I am not sure if it was my size or just the shock of my thin frame that deterred them. But deterred they were.

My mum often tells stories of how fearless I was as a child. The genesis of these stories she would tell my children is simply from me always asked my dad questions. If you grew up in my time and with our sorts of parents you will understand what I am talking about.

At the time, only actions followed instructions not questions, no one had the time for interrogations as is so often the case now. Perhaps, that explains why we never invented a rocket at the time. So my tough Dad with his no nonsense mien issues instructions about “not going out to play”; about “reading the whole day”; whilst my two sisters would nod immediately and head off to do as they were told. I would raise my hands in apprehension and say: “even when we’ve thoroughly read? No going out still?”

I could see my mum’s face say “oh my God this girl!” The answer never came back affirmative and perhaps maybe with a knock or two on the head; but I just felt despite the tense environment and obvious response, asking questions even in trepidation was so important.

Maybe I need to tell my mother when next she tells my children how fearless I was that it is an incorrect presentation, as I did it all she has been talking about afraid.

And so I moved into adult life just doing it afraid. I recall my first ‘fam’ trip as we call it in the multinational company I worked in at the time. I was taking a group of journalists to see the company facilities in London and thereafter we’d meet the very important chairman, owner of the firm.

The FAM trip was good until we had to meet this chairman author, enigma, personal ambassador of the brand, the one who took sits beside many Presidents. I was sooo nervous! And I’m not sure the idiom ‘butterflies in the tummy sufficed, I promise you I had real birds flying in mine, I remembered the DIA (Do It Afraid) phrase and I thought to myself ‘hey, it’s okay to be afraid, but just do it afraid!’ It was a good meeting, one that even elicited some laughs and good words about me back to the Boss.

DIA rarely fails, and even if it does you gain much more for having tried at all‎.

My most horrible DIA moment to date has been my silver lining!

A couple of years ago, I had put together a serious event for the organisation I worked for.

The minister responsible for that sector was in attendance.

We waited unendingly for the Master of Ceremony and he just didn’t turn up. My boss casually said to me “please get up and compere the event”.

There wasn’t time to moan how I couldn’t. I just walked up the stage in the greatest trepidation ever and took the mic. I have no idea how well or bad that went, I just know I got it over with and thereafter felt less fear for crowd. Even you can do it!

That was my my release. It made me realise over again that it’s okay, really okay to be afraid, whether it be starting up a business, using your last savings to buy a franchise, starting a job application outside the country, it’s okay, very okay to do it all afraid.

Nkiru Olumide-Ojo