Here dad, this one is for you…

It no longer amazes me that I see many people do a u-turn from what they studied; it appears to have become the norm over the past decade. I’ve interviewed doctors for non-medical roles. The story is often pretty much the same and often goes;

Interviewer: Why are you applying to be a graphic designer when you studied medicine?

Respondent: I’ve always loved graphic design and which also made me do well in sciences.

Putting together lines and sketches and playing with graphics has always been a part of me.

Interviewer: So, how come you ended up studying medicine?

Respondent: Smiles… for my Dad. My Dad’s a Doctor and he felt it was important that I towed the line; unfortunately, he’s realised that I have no interest in it and has come to a place of rest with this.

My first encounter of these ‘degrees for Dads’ was at a hen night or bridal showers as we call them; looking to elicit more conversations; I had asked the ladies to – ‘Introduce yourself, including what you currently do (your career) and what career paths you will have towed if you had no pressures or worries; Out came the strange responses!- The lawyer was a clothier and wanted to remain so – the Geologist was a salesman and couldn’t think of a better role. The biologist was a marketer and wanted to be a journalist, the Economist wanted to remain as a banker and the dentist too, wanted to be a banker. The consistent response when asked ‘why you studied XX in the first place’? was always; ‘for my Dad.’

Very strange mixes, but I do think it underscores how carefully we should treat our roles influencing, directing and instructing as children on their career paths.

A great way to start maybe understanding your child’s strengths – we’re told it is one of the strongest indications of where he can perform best. We cannot say categorically that there hasn’t been tons of positive outcomes from persons whom their parents instructed, forced or coerced to study particular subjects. On the contrary, it has worked out well and repeatedly too, no doubt, dynasties have been strengthened by well-structured career paths where both parent and children come out happier and less time is wasted ‘trying to find his or her own’ as would a doctor transiting to a graphic artist.

Let me share a story of Paulo Coelho. One of the most successful authors alive today, he’s sold several billion books (give or take) worldwide. He doesn’t just write, he inspires. The world is undoubtedly a better place for him and his work.

But flashback to when Paulo was a teenager, and his parents had him committed to a mental institution. On three separate occasions.

Why? Because he wanted to be a writer.

See, Mr. and Mrs. Coelho didn’t think “writer” was a practical career choice. They were full sure that their son would end up starving in a slum somewhere if he pursued his passion, and so they tried to talk him out of it. When he wouldn’t listen, a trip to the local nuthouse for a little electro-shock therapy seemed in order.

Paulo manage to convince his parents and worked to become his best self.

Perhaps, he may have received a law certificate for his Dad and thereafter go on to become a successful lawyer; he may even have helped a lot of people along the way. We have no way of knowing and I completely understand his parents who thought the probability of being a Jonnie Cochran was much higher than being a James Hardley Chase at the time; but still, there are still too many ‘degrees for Daddy’ out there; or maybe what we need are double honour courses in our country universities? Biology and Marketing – this way everyone is well pleased.

Nkiru Olumide-Ojo