Igniting the spark in your home
“Where went that Spark?” Toyin asks herself as she settles down on the sofa that sunny Sunday afternoon. She has been married to Bode for five years. As she stares out of the window into the garden, she recalls how she met Bode at a board meeting six years ago. Bode is an epitome of handsomeness. He is dark skinned and spots around thin nose that sit perfectly on his oval face. His white teeth would sparkle anytime he smiles revealing a perfect dentition.
They had a little chat after the meeting. Something led to another; they became friends and started seeing one another more frequently. A year later, they walked down the aisle. It was a perfect marriage. They both hope to make it work.
Three years after, things started to change. The sparkle in their home is gone. With two children, they can’t explain when the sparkle began fizzling.
Many homes have lost the sparkle they used to have. Often, spouses cannot explain when the sparkle started dwindling. Some expert on family matters says it is important for families to always take stock of the relationship with their families. According to them, often it is important for spouses to ask such questions as: Do you remember that giddy feeling, the butterflies at just the thought of him or her? Waking up with a smile and not even wanting to go to bed in the first place? Those heady days when the flame of love was burning bright? Those endless hours spent in passionate embrace?
Seun Adeoye, a psychologists says doing stock taking in family relationships goes a long way in igniting the spark in the home no matter how much love is shown in the home, family relationship needs a little freshening up from time to time.
“If you don’t ignite the spark in the home, the love will be totally dead,” she explains.
“Hence it is important to have a kind of love reboot, just the way we reboot our computers at home. We need to organize of find new ways to express love and ignite the spark in our families.”
Where love lives, every woman should not just want romance and fun in her relationship, she should create it. Research shows that 43 percent of women are as likely as men to initiate that spark, while more than 21 percent take the initiative and start the fireworks.
Adeoye adds that one of the ways to ignite a spark in the home is for men to buy surprise gifts for their spouses occasionally. “Men can get gifts for their wives of take them on a holiday. Or drive them to the salon to get a makeover of get their hair done. A woman can take her husband to the barbers. There is nothing bad in that.”
In addition, an average woman who feels beautiful can’t help but project that feeling to others, and often it can be the little unseen things that make all the difference. One of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century, Coco Chanel, once said “A woman should wear perfume wherever she wants to be kissed”.
Also, one of the ways women can ignite the spark in their home is to dress good to the delight of their husbands. For instance a favourite fragrance on the skin boosts self-confidence miles high. A sassy outfit, stylishly-coiffed hair and perhaps a beloved accessory or two create the perfect equation for igniting the spark. Increase your chances of time together with your spouse. A long soaking bath softens and elegantly scents your skin, transforming you into the right kind of magnet to your husband. Finally, cultivate this simple habit: commit to one evening a week just for the two of you – no work, no family and friends, no finances troubles, no hobbies, no phones –and watch the spark revive.
FUNKE OSAE-BROWN