Keeping faith

During one of our family holidays, we had all walked into a bookshop to purchase books. It was a really large book shop and in a few minutes, everyone was engrossed in the row of books. Children and adults were feasting on book backs, comics, magazines etc. We each appeared to be about two rows from each other and I could hear the children’s voices whilst I kept purring over a book I had been searching for.

I had spent almost seven minutes reading when I suddenly realized that I could no longer hear the voices of my children. In no time, I found my husband and my older one but couldn’t find my youngest.

We started combing the rows of books and calling out his name, in that very small ten minutes, my mind had run wild with wild thoughts- I wondered what lessons I had given him on ‘what to do if you ever get lost’, it got worse when I remembered the lesson was given at home which meant even if he did ask someone to call me, my number was switched off as we were out of country. I quickly thought of the various crime and investigation cases of ‘lost and never found’ or ‘lost and not yet found like Madeline Mcann (the young British girl who went missing during a family holiday in Portugal). My mind went on to think about the serial killers I had watched and how fast they preyed on their victims, I was still in this state of mind, when we found him, with eyes full of tears. We were all incredibly relieved to see him and of course he us. Apparently he had excitedly run off to another section and couldn’t remember his way back.

Everything I have described above was not more 10 minutes, but it was 10minutes of turmoil. I cannot then imagine what a hundred days will be like for the parents of the abducted Chibok girls. I cannot imagine how troubled they have been. I worry to think of the gazillion things that could be imagining as happening to their daughters.

I suppose they will start from the possibility of physical abuse to ‘what could have I done better’; and then to ‘was this a product of my decision’…and then to ‘it has to be my fault in some way.

I cannot, cannot imagine what it is like in their homes, it must be traumatic, well even for us…mothers, women, and girls.  I force myself and my children to make the connection so often, so we can keep the fire of remembrance burning, so we can keep the recovery actions going, keep the prayers going.

As I keep saying to myself. If you were in a boarding house like I did growing up as a young teen, then it could have been you.  One gets a bit overwhelmed with the theories and the counter theories of how they can be rescued. I deliberately don’t read the ones that can make me loose hope.

I recently read an article online from time magazine- It was a piece on the minds of kidnap victims titled “the mind of a kidnap victim, how they endure and recover ‘by Alexandra Sifferlin. The article was doing a review of the head-spinning news out of Cleveland about  three young women, Amanda Berry, Georgina DeJesus and Michele Knight, all kidnapped as children, and remained in captivity for roughly 10 years.

In the article, a certain Dr. Tina J. Walch, director of ambulatory services at Zucker Hillside Hospital in New Hyde Park, New York explained that “People who are rapidly sexually traumatized sort of leave their bodies, and their mind is somewhere else to deal with it,” That kind of escapist  strategy is used to survive the ordeal, she retorts that it does have its side effects in the long run (depression being one of this), but it does help to get through the situation.

I know it’s a straw, but I’ve clutched on to this as we wait, as we pray and as we do all we can to bring the girls home.

Nkiru Olumide-Ojo