Keeping Faith

During one of our family holidays, we had walked into a book shop to purchase books. It was a really large book shop and in a few minutes, everyone was engrossed in the row of books. We could see children and adults feasting on books, comics, magazines etc. We each appeared to be about two rows from each other and I could hear the children’s voices whilst I kept purring over a book I had been searching for.

I had spent almost seven minutes reading when I suddenly realised that I could no longer hear the voices of my children. In no time, I found my husband and my older one but couldn’t find my youngest.

We started combing the rows of books and calling out his name, in that minute ten minutes, my mind ran wild with untamed thoughts. I wondered what lessons I had given him on ‘what to do if you ever get lost’. It got worse when I remembered the lesson was given at home which meant even if he had asked someone to call me, my number was switched off, we were out of country. I quickly thought of the various crime and investigation cases of ‘lost and never found’ or ‘lost and not yet found like Madeline Mcann (the young British girl who went missing during a family holiday in Portugal). My mind went on to think about the serial killers I had watched and how fast they preyed on their victims. I was still in this state of mind, when we found him, with eyes full of tears. We were all incredibly relieved to see him. Of course, he was to see us. Apparently, he had excitedly run off to another section and couldn’t find his way back.

Honestly, this experience was not more than ten minutes. I can tell you it was ten minutes of turmoil. I cannot then imagine what a hundred days will be like for the parents of the abducted Chibok girls. I cannot imagine how troubled they must have been.

I suppose they will start from the possibility of physical abuse to ‘what could have I done better’; and then to ‘was this a product of my decision’…and then to ‘it has to be my fault in some way.

I cannot imagine what it is like in their homes.  It must have been very traumatic for mostly their mothers.  I force myself and my children to make the connection so often, so we can keep the fire of remembrance burning. We do this to also keep the recovery actions going, keep the  prayers going.

I never stopped telling myself that if I were in a boarding house, like I was in my teen years, then it could have been me.  I get a bit overwhelmed with the theories and the counter theories of how they can be rescued. I deliberately don’t read the ones that can make me lose hope.

I recently read an article online from Time magazine. It was a piece on the minds of kidnapped victims titled: ‘the mind of a kidnap victim, how they endure and recover’ by Alexandra Sifferlin. The article was doing a review of the head-spinning news out of Cleveland about  three young women, Amanda Berry, Georgina DeJesus and Michele Knight, all kidnapped as children, and remained in captivity for roughly 10 years.

In the article, a certain Dr. Tina J. Walch, director of ambulatory services at Zucker Hillside Hospital in New Hyde Park, New York explained that: “People who are rapidly sexually traumatized sort of leave their bodies, and their mind is somewhere else to deal with it.” That kind of escapist strategy is used to survive the ordeal, she retorts that it does have its side effects in the long run (depression being one of this), but it does help to get through the situation.

I know it’s a straw, but I’ve clutched on to this as we wait, as we pray and as we do all we can to bring the girls home.

Nkiru Olumide-Ojo