Right starts for your children
Children are no doubt a source of joy to every home. Their presence brings comfort and security, particularly when they are given a great start in life. However, the task of raising a child is one of the most difficult responsibilities every parent or intending parent can bear. This difficulty perhaps explains why there is an increase in the number of teenagers and youths involved in drugs, crime and cultism.
John Awosika, a civil servant and father of four, says Parents are obliged to give their children the best education as part of their early start in life. “There are some fathers who believe that after paying their children school fees, everything ends there. They don’t make out time to follow what their children do at school. That is not good enough. I try as much as possible to check my children’s school notes, among others. Since I am blessed with four teenage girls, I give them adequate attention and provide their needs so they don’t look outside. I implore every other parent to do more for their children,” he explains.
Studies have shown that most people acquire knowledge about child rearing from their own upbringing. As a result, when they become parents, they often find themselves repeating patterns from their own childhoods that may not be appropriate for their own children. Worse than that, they may hear themselves admonishing their children with phrases their parents used to be fond of, and which they had earlier vowed never to utter if they had children of their own.
“Parent should endeavour to raise their children in godly ways. This will enable their children exhibit a better character at home and in the society at large. That is the way I was brought up. I’m raising my children in the same direction. However, if any child chooses to do otherwise, it’s up to the child,” observes Etim Akan, a stockbroker.
As far as Adebola Osaro, a Lagos-based businesswoman argues that parents’ way of life is the first learning point for every child. “A child sees his or parents as a role model and follows their footprint, either good or bad. Therefore, parents must be mindful of their choice of words in the presence of their kids,” she explains.
If children must grow up to be responsible adults, parent must establish boundaries for them, by teaching them what is expected of them and how they should behave in the society. In doing so, they must be fair and firm. Lack of consistency and appropriate discipline may produce confused and rootless children. While maintaining consistent discipline can be very demanding and time-consuming for single parents, it remains the best way to raise children so they grow up to become responsible adults.
“As a father, I have realised that my children know what is expected of them at any given time because I have established a means of effective communication with them. Likewise, parents must understand the type of corrective measure their children need to kick out bad habits and imbibe good ones. My little girl (6 year old) for instance, comprehends the message I pass across to her, by merely looking at her for few seconds. She knows I want her to stop whatever she’s doing at that point in time, as is the case with her older brother (9 years),” says Hameed Aliu.
Psychologists argue that if you are able to express your own expectations and feelings appropriately, as regards domestic rules, among others, your child will grow up to understand you are reasonable simply because you have given your time to explain things out. For psychologists, explaining the danger ahead of their questioning behaviour is an important issue for parents, so you must be careful regarding method you apply. Your role today can help build a better and greater nation tomorrow, therefore, it is advisable you do it right.
PETER EHIGIATOR