Spending time with your loved one

Time plays a very essential role in our lives, especially when it comes to the accomplishment of our relationships during festive season. Most marriages now are devoid of happiness and excitement because of the lack of the time spent in the relationship.

Seventy percent of young couples spend a lot of time together before they get married, and as a matter of fact, if they are not together physically, they are keeping in touch by phone. They even spend time together at weekends, go to see movies, visit friends, attend functions, pick her up and also drop her off.

But shortly after they are married and now with children, the music changes and there would be no more outings, no more fun as it used to be, rather that is when the husband begins to hang out with friends after work or he is at one club or some joint at weekends. He hardly ever gets to spend time with his wife again because of the children, talk less of spending time with the children themselves and the family as a whole.

Recently, at a conference held for couples and those intending, Clare Ibikunle, a marriage counsellor and a mother of three, says setting aside time for your spouse is very vital in keeping a successful family, whereby a strong marriage bond can withstand any trial that may face the family as a whole. The trial may be as little as a late bill payment or as gigantic as the loss of a job. Whatever may be the case, having two strong heads of the family will provide security and the satisfaction of knowing that you can get through whatever comes your way.

Taking time out may be easier said than done for some people. “It is easy to neglect one’s spouse when our jobs and children demand so much of us. Nonetheless, spending quality time with our spouse is essential. Try some of these ideas and work towards building up a steady routine of quality spousal time together,” she says.

Clare also admonishes that talking and listening to each other will strengthen one’s faith as a communicator and a listener, but be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Schedule a romantic dinner. This is another helpful way to spend quality time with your spouse. You and your spouse need quiet time to reflect on your lives and to be reminded of why it is that you two love each other.

According to Busayo Ikechukwu, a scientist and a mother of two, in this day and time, it can be very difficult to spend some good quality time with your beloved spouse. Reason being that maybe the children have too many after-school activities for you to drive them to or both of you work very long hours every week. No matter what the reason is, it is very important to find a way to spend quality time with your spouse.

Amaka Okoro, a businesswoman with five children, says I have, personally, noticed that the longer you are with your spouse the amount of quality time spent together decreases. This can be for many reasons including the children, work schedules or just everyday life. Recently, I found that only 35 percent or there about, of married women had regular dates with their husbands.

Making out time for yourselves is not always easy. When both partners, parents are working, it could be particularly hard, because both come home tired, with chores waiting for them, and children clamouring for attention. So, how is it done?

This could be done with careful planning, and determination. Relationships stagnate and lose their vibrancy when they are buried beneath the everyday stresses of living. But you can unearth them and revive the flame! Above all, remember that the foundation of your marriage and partnership is the two of you – not the jobs, the new house, or the children.

Finally, by setting aside time for our children as well as our spouse, we definitely would strengthen their beliefs that they are loved and are an important part of the family.