To be a mother is not a day’s job

Nigeria is a very interesting place to live. In this part of the world, there are things that you see every day that can be so hilarious. For instance, we have writings on buses that show the most hilarious things. One of my favourites is this: “To be a man is not a day’s job.” Obviously, what the write up is trying to say is that being a man is a lot of work and entails a great deal of responsibility.

Well, taking a clue from these inscriptions on the bus, I have come up with my own: “To be a mother is not a day’s job.” I’m sure every mother will agree with me. If you are like me, you have seen mothers with grown up daughters who have developed easy camaradiere and you think “what a wonderful pair! I can’t wait to be a mum” or you have seen sons dote on their mothers and think; “That mother must have had it easy.

Parenting is not easy neither is motherhood. It takes time, hard work, patience, prayer and a lot of all that you have in you. It can never be achieved in a day. Immediately you realise that, you find out that the pressure you put on yourself as a mother is reduced and you can actually take a deep breath.

Sometimes you think you need to get it all at once, get everything at once, and understand everything at once. It’s simply impossible. It gets better as time goes by and with God’s guidance, you will do well.

So I have decided to give myself time to learn to be a mother. You know why? Motherhood is learnt. You are not born a mother, you become one and it’s okay to be clueless, as long as you are willing to learn. So lighten the load, if your child doesn’t listen to you the first time, keep at it, soon he will know you are serious. What if you can’t come up with healthy food for your children? Keep at it, ideas will come. You don’t know how to keep them occupied, talk to friends, pray to God, go on the internet and before you know it, you are buzzing with ideas.

It gets better with time. It gets better the more you ask God to teach you. It gets better the more you read, study and think. It gets better with time.

One day, you will realise the schedule is no longer so crazy, that child is listening more, they are eating healthier, and you have somehow managed to keep your sanity. Guess what? You wil realise, you really are enjoying it. Then you will realise motherhood is not a day’s job. It’s an experience for the rest of your life.

It will be like sending yourself, unknowingly, on a suicide mission to think you can get it all at once.

Yesterday evening, my son just sat beside me and played with me. I have a house full of girls, cousins and helps. If my husband doesn’t come home on time, my son is the only male at home. My daughter had gone to be with the ladies, so it was just him and me. Guess what? I had fun, no “don’t do that, or stop that or ‘be careful.” It was just having fun and playing. I couldn’t help remembering when I was hoping he could just grow up and do things for himself so I could have some space to do other stuff. And here he was, grown up a bit, and we were having a civil conversation. I rested my head on the seat and realised that it was indeed getting easier.

Well, all that was short lived; when he decided to remind me he was still a child and turned my legs to a ladder. What did I expect? One more thing, about being a mother, it’s an unpredictable journey.

No matter how crazy, I’ll be a mother any day.

SOLA OGUCHE-AGUDAH