Transferring values through generations

There seems to be a recent trend that has crept into our culture, threatening to take over the essence of who we are as a people. I’ve noticed parents trying so hard to compensate for all they lost growing up, that they are gradually raising a generation of children who know nothing about respect, hard work and delayed gratification. I’m not in any way against striving to give your children the best money can buy, but if this is not relayed with the right set of values, what we will have is a generation of children who grow up with a wrong sense of entitlement.

Sadly, what we see in this generation, are parents who are fast loosing the essence of what parenting actually is.

I love children. I love their innocence and all they represent. However, one thing that constrains me from having more than the two that I’m blessed with is the hard work involved in training them. Most times, it’s a battle of wills with my children. Any particular concept or value has to be grilled in over and over again before it is adhered to and even then, you are still not sure it’s imbibed by the children, but you still strive to stick to these lessons. I try not to give up, no matter how tiring and stressful it may be because I’m trying to instil values in the children; values that will become the core of who they really are.

One of the great joys of my life is when I see young people who are vibrant, like to hang out and just like what young people like, but also have a full grasp of the values of life. They understand hard work and integrity; they understand delayed gratification and respect. They are not perfect I was speaking to my younger sister-in-law the other day and she inundated me with some shocking trends among the younger generation. I had always thought the young people were the future of the country. I was so convinced that this young generation had what it took to take Nigeria from being mere consumers to a nation of productive and creative , but I was sorely disappointed by her analysis.

We seem to have a generation of youngsters bent over by peer pressure and increasingly trying to live above their means. Well, I wonder why I’m surprised because that’s all they’ve seen and have been taught. The values that we hold dear have literally been exterminated.

I don’t think the problem is with the children. We, the parents are the problem. What values did we teach our children? Did we exemplify those values? Did we ensure that these values were entrenched in them? Did we do our best to raise children that we would be proud of? Those are the questions I ask myself when I want to give up. Those are the questions that give me the extra push. These are questions that motivate me. What about you?

SOLA OGUCHE-AGUDAH

Sola_agudah@yahoo.com