We’ve got male!
Got this from a male reader and thought to share –
Hi there, I have often watched women behaviour in the workplace. I’ve never been able to understand the reason they have to have many books and advice on how to get on in the workplace, so many New York bestsellers on such a simple topic, many talk about ‘the boys club,’ ‘how to manage your boss and most recently the Lean in book by Cheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook) that caused such a media wave.
To be honest, there wouldn’t be lots of drama if we applied the standard KIS principle – I’m talking about ‘the Keep It Simple’ principles. The one we men so easily apply at work. Women, it’s your ability to complicate things that have left you running after all these books. I thought I should lend my voice by giving you basics since all the books have said the scientific cum research proven ones.
Mine is just a hands on ‘women keeping it simple at work by Emeka’ – specifically, WKISBE…free tips, that should translate to the New York bestsellers since it is much more simpler than all I’ve read so far.
First rule ladies – Leave out your emotions at work. It always, always complicates things. We all came here to work, you know and there’re tons to be done. Why do we have to ‘speak at a certain tone as the other was ‘too harsh, too rude, too unsettling, in appropriate’ and the best voice we then used ‘was full of meaning? – Why must everything mean something? Why do we, along with all, have to do worry about ‘how we spoke to you?’ Trust me, I’ve always worked in multinationals with great corporate cultures, so rudeness of any form isn’t permitted, but still, with women at work there’s ‘always that way he spoke to me.’
Rule number two – You don’t have to fight, not on email, not physically. There are no kingdoms at work and as such no ‘territories’- gosh, why do you have to be so territorial? – This is ‘my kingdom’ and this line divides it. If you cross this kingdom, you are deadbeats. Why the email fights? Why is having the last word so important in physical and email discussions? There’s no competition here (and even if there is, there’s be only one winner, so why adopt the lance Armstrong competitive spirit?)
Rule number three – Lady, you’ve got to collaborate, okay? That’s why we do so well in soccer – because we work as a team. You are part of a business and as such a team, loose sometimes so the other can win – you often can’t get past a certain level as in my opinion after 10 years of working, your experience is now officially established, only your ability to collaborate takes you the rest of the journey – no one needs a quarrelling, ‘I must shine alone star’- we’ve all got to shine so the hall can be brighter. Trust me, no one likes a quarrelsome executive or even worse, a quarrelsome board member.
Rule number four – There’s no boys club, we’re just a group of people bound by football, cricket or rugby, perhaps also jokes you might not want to hear, so when we rehash our jokes in your presence you decide that we are in a cult.
Rule number five – We have families too – why dramatise before taking basic and relevant permissions for family activities such as baby vaccinations, children are unwell. Indeed, we aren’t happy about the down time, but it is the reality and we’ve got families too, so please go. True that you just got back from maternity leave, but we can’t be expected to read your mind and know that you have early maternity hour – just remind us and then go, after all you were away from work for three whole months, and a few more days here and there shouldn’t hurt.
Rule number six – Dressing simply is essential. Too much exposure of skin is wrong on many fronts. This is a workplace and you must consider sensibilities. Because the beet red lipstick and golden hair weave are hot fashion items doesn’t mean it for work – except you’re in showbiz, otherwise, let work be work.
Rule number seven – Take time out to be nice to your womenfolk. You almost have our Hyde when we say ‘you know how women are to each other’- yet you do the very same thing – you never lend a hand to each other – why one wonders, it’s almost like a circle that keeps repeating itself. I suppose it’s the way you are made (big laughing face here).
Rule number eight – Don’t bear malice my friend – yesterday is past. Plus our memories are so short, we forget what it was you were annoyed about – always easier to just tell us and then we apologise – just make sure you move on with us. Whatever the quarrel was ultimately about work.
Rule number nine – Loyalty to work is a personal thing – we move when we stop believing in the corporate vision. Sometimes, we still believe but have to move as we have bills to pay – so, please don’t think we aren’t loyal – we are, just not like you who can forgo everything to show the boss how loyal you are.
Rule number ten – Sometimes, you leave your piece of mind at home – when you keep giving everyone a piece, nothing’s be left. Silence doesn’t kill, it has brought about revolutions in the contrary – ask Mahatma Gandhi.
Lastly, please don’t have my Hyde; it’s to protect my body!
By: Nkiru Olumide-Ojo