Tola Ajayi, the fertility tutor bringing hope to families in need
Tola Ajayi is Nigeria’s leading voice in sex and relationship management, a foremost trained Fertility, Sex and Relationship coach. She is the Clinic Manager at Nordica Fertility Centre Lagos, one of the leading IVF Centres in Nigeria. The centre is affiliated with Nordica, Denmark. Since its inception in 2003, the centre has expanded into three major cities in Nigeria; providing a range of assisted reproduction services across the nation.
Ajayi has had over 40 years’ experience in clinical services in both public and private establishments. She has received training in outstanding institutions such as the prestigious Harvard University, Mind, Body Medicine College and WPF Therapy in conjunction with University of Roehampton UK in Counselling and Psychotherapy.
She is a member of the Endometriosis Support Group (EDSG), Fertility Treatment Support Foundation (FTFS) and Fertility Awareness Advocacy Initiative (FAAI).
Tola Ajayi is always committed towards managing the emotions of people, helping them come to terms with their situation with a view to making informed decisions that potentially benefits all concerned. She has remained committed to end the silence about Endometriosis for over a decade under the auspices of the ESGN, which is in the fore-front of raising awareness about the condition and providing support to these women challenged by Endometriosis. This has been done by annual awareness walks in Lagos, Abuja FCT and several fora for discussions and paper presentation.
Quite recently, Tola Ajayi along with the trustees of the ESGN were honoured by Her Excellency, Wife of the Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Oludolapo Osinbajo, Wives of State Governors of Lagos, Ogun, Oyo, and Kwara States, Global Ambassador of Endometriosis and Partner to ESGN, Nike Oshinowo, and many captains of industries, media practitioners, to discuss further steps in charting the path to discovering the root cause, creating enabling environment for diagnosis, treatment and management of Endometriosis, a laudable feat in the battle against a scourge that affects over 170 million women worldwide.
Tola Ajayi, is happily married with 4 children and recently a grandmother. She is passionate about women and families in general in the all-important struggle to overcome the challenges of daily living in an ever dynamic society.
Growing up
Growing up was fun in a large family of 30 children under the same roof. It has helped me to understand people and appreciate each person for who they are.
Why the interest in fertility, sex and relationship?
Working in a fertility clinic for the past 11years made me see the need for support in marriages with infertility challenges. Sex is usually a major problem and of course relationship is affected. Fertility challenged couples need support
In the African context, Nigeria in focus, there is the misconception that anytime a couple is challenged with having children, it is blamed on the woman. Kindly explain how this is not necessarily the case?
In our culture, men are not infertile which of course is a myth. It is unfortunate that the blame is always on women but that is changing now as we know that infertility in men is the same percentage with women. Men are coming to terms with this reality now.
What are the major causes of infertility and how is Nordica helping with this?
There are different causes of infertility which can come from the man or woman. Some factors in women could be blocked tubes, hormonal imbalance, Endometriosis and so on.
Some factors in men could be low sperm count or no sperm at all, hormonal imbalance and so on.
Nordica has been educating the public on the need to know about fertility challenges and of course what to do about it. Nordica offers treatment and support for infertility management.
With over 40 years’ experience as Head of Clinical Services in both public and private establishments, what has your experience been so far? What are your observations? What are your proffered solutions?
My experience in both public and private establishments for over 40 years has been inspiring. The most important thing I will like to emphasise is for people to get educated on their health challenges and seek treatment at the appropriate facilities not approaching unauthorised places for treatment. Ignorance is a major issue in this country.
What advice do you have for couples challenged with childbearing?
My advice is for couples to seek help early. One year of regular and unprotected sex with no pregnancy, the couple must seek help.
Share on your passion for Endometriosis, your involvement and why?
Endometriosis is a disease that it is commonly misdiagnosed. It affects the quality of life because of constant debilitating pain that makes life unbearable for the sufferer and it is also a major cause of infertility. We have been creating awareness for Endometriosis for about 13 years now and it’s getting better but we are not there yet. Hopefully, the government will look into this direction and help us to create more awareness.
30 years in marriage, what is the secret to a successful marriage?
Marriage is give and take. Love is not enough to sustain a marriage, friendship is what is needed. Communication and trust are two main ingredients of marriage. The hype of Instagram marriage is not the real thing. My advice to couples is to marry for the right reasons. A lot of marriages today are for wrong reasons.
What will you like to see change in the healthcare system of Nigeria?
Health insurance should be made available for people for better access to healthcare. Also, I will like the government to improve on facilities to improve health care.
How have you been able to look this great and stay this stunning even as a grandmother?
It is just the grace of God. But recently, I’ve started focusing on my diet and exercise. I also believe in staying positive no matter the challenges around me.
How affordable is IVF? How is Nordica assisting those who intend to be part of the program but do not have the funds?
IVF is not cheap anywhere in the world. Nordica is in partnership with fertility treatment support foundation (FTSF) in giving free treatment to people who cannot afford it.
What are the chances of having children with IVF?
A lot of children have been born through IVF. 1st IVF baby in the world will be 40 this year. Nordica has over 2000 babies and still counting. Our 1st baby will be 14 this year. So, the only obstacle to not having a baby from IVF if that is what you need, is you by not taking the bold step.
Final words
Like I always say, it is not over until it’s over. Don’t give up, your next attempt might just be the success you need. Also, I will like let you all know that people who are fertility challenged need support.
Kemi Ajumobi