Yet, another break up

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and what I saw was beautiful but with the aid of my makeup kit of course, though I was far from ugly even without it. I was beautifully dressed for a date. My accessories matched my choice of clothes. Yea, I have a knack for fashion and I have a great taste for fancy boots. I wasn’t sulking so my recent break up didn’t matter. I was all set to go when I got a call from Alexis my best friend to ask of my wellbeing. Then she dropped the big question. “How is he?” I replied, “Who?” and she said, “Your guy. The guy whose picture you have all over your social media platforms. The one you…” “It’s okay babe. I know who you are talking about.” I had to cut her short. “We broke up” I said, without a care in the world. “What! You guys did what?” I could hear disbelieve in her voice. She believed in us. We seemed inseparable. We were all over one another on Facebook, WhatsApp, and instagram. My parents were waiting for him to propose. I was sure that he was the right one. I couldn’t go a day without talking to him or seeing him. I cut off most of my male friends because of him. Yet here I was, yet another break up. “Alexis, we broke up.” I replied, calmly this time.

“Chi, how much longer can you go on like this? This is the umpteenth break up you will be having in the last 4 years. What happened this time? What went wrong? Did he cheat?” She couldn’t dare ask me if I cheated, because she trusted me not to. I sighed in response. All the memories came back to me in a flash. I was good to him. Actually I was a good wife material. I did everything and anything to please him. I started attending his church against my mother’s will just to please him. I cut off most of my male friends, just so he would be comfortable, some I even blocked on social media. I had to pretend I wasn’t angry at him even when I was. I never hid anything thing from him. He knew the password to my phone and all my social media platforms. But still, he never trusted me, he hacked my phone, disbelieved everything I said. His insecurity and jealousy actually ruined the relationship. He got angry at the slightest thing. And of course, anger they say is contagious. When you stay with an angry person for a considerable period of time, you become angry too. So it was like all hell broke loose. We got angry at each other for no reason. He wanted me to do his bidding without questions, of which I couldn’t. It was like he wanted a robot for a girlfriend. I just couldn’t bear it. He was really nice at the beginning. He was all I wanted in a man. He was all caring and all giving. He was a God fearing man. I never lacked anything when I was with him. So what went wrong? How did it get so bad? I could see both our hearts drifting apart until we eventually did. Two love birds suddenly drifted apart. Two loving hearts became two hating hearts.

Tears welled in my eyes as all the memories came flooding back. “Babe, you really have to do something. You just have to. Look for a way to make your relationship last. Yes, you are beautiful and smart; but the big question is, can you keep them and make them yours forever?” She said. When I didn’t reply she added, “I’m sure you are seeing someone else already” this babe! “How did you know?” I thought to myself. Chi, I have a word for you. It is easy to want to go out of our relationships when it gets all rough. But the question here is, how are you sure that the next one you are going into isn’t far worse? If you weren’t able to manage the previous one, how will you be able to manage the new one? The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. What you need to do is sit down and try to work on yourself, device a way to make your man stay and never want to leave.” She said and hung up. Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion, I thought to myself. She just gave hers.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t control it, deep sobs chocked my throat. I ruined my make-up with all the tears and catarrh. I had to call to cancel my new date. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was sit back and fix myself. Where exactly did I miss it? Maybe I could have been more tolerating. Maybe I should have held back those fits of anger and never reacted. But that would have been really pretentious. It wasn’t typical of me to be ordered around and controlled. I needed my opinions to be heard too and respected. But then love conquers all, sometimes we just have to act the ‘fool’ to save that relationship or marriage. Sometimes we just have to be quiet or not say anything at all. Most times we just have to say sorry even if we weren’t in the wrong simply because we love them and want to be with them. If we claim to love someone then we just have to respect who they are. If changing them isn’t working out, then submitting to them might just do, because the next guy might just be worse. But then, if he is intolerable and a cheat, it’s best to stay clear. The worse is the case of an abuse, it would be best you run. Run baby run. Before I head into another relationship, I must be prepared with my head all clear and my heart all set to love right.

Chinyere Okeke